Please accept my apologies. I have to write this. I have to share her life and what she meant to me. But I am sharing this through tears and heartache. My Sayde girl was my loyal friend for 14 years. She loved me through the good times and the bad. When I would cry she would curl up in front of me to comfort me. I wish she was here to do that now. I need her.
I don’t think any of my pets have loved me quite like she has. And for that I am grateful to her. I owe her more than I could ever repay, simply because of how deeply she loved me.
I hate grief. It’s such an ugly thing. Nothing tears at your heart quite like the loss of someone you love so dearly.
I hate that I’ve lost my best friend of 14 incredibly short years. I needed her for at least 14 more.
This morning I heard her nails clicking on the wood floor outside my door and my breath caught in my throat. This, her daily routine letting me know it’s time to go outside.
I miss her all day. I break down crying at the most random of times. A piece of me left when she left.
I held her head in my hands as she passed. Feeling the weight of her head come down on my hands as she left was excruciating, watching her life go out of her. But it was my face and the words of “I love you” that she saw and heard just before she passed.
I wanted to honor my baby girl and all the laughs and joy she brought into my life. She was mine and Andy’s “first born”. She was there for all the major milestones in our lives. Dating, marriage, children and our forever home. I am blessed that she was there for all of it.
I would give anything for just one more day with her. To stroke her sweet little puppy lips or her soft little girl ears. Her soul was gentle and funny and kind. There will never been another one like her.
Sayde girl, momma loves you. I hope you knew just how much at that moment when we said our final goodbyes. Not a moment goes by that you’re not on my mind, that I don’t think I see you out of the corner of my eye, that you’re not missed. I love you baby girl, with all I have in me.